Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
