I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
