If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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