i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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