I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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