I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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