real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
