Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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