I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
