I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
