is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
