So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
