His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize