my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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