if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
