I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
