so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
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