do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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