I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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