ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
