Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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