Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
