you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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