one word: firstdatebathroomanal
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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