I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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