I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
the day after is always just damage control
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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