those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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