Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
