There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
