He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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