There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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