I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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