she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
