She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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