even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I lost the right to judge tonight
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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