Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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