I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
It's like God shit irony all over that family
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This is classic penis vs brain.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
