worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you would pick up someone in the library
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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