glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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