If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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