You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
