he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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