pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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