Do you still have your period?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
