The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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