Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Randomize
