This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
