he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
