i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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