So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
