That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
