You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize