i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's shark week go big or go home
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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