NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
