Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
