im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
