you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
